You've cheated and been caught, and now you're wondering if your relationship can be saved. In my experience, the answer is yes...as long as you know how to build trust after infidelity. You can both start getting over an affair and getting on with your lives together, and I hope this article helps.
Confession time -- I cheated on my husband. But eventually he forgave me, and we've been a stronger couple ever since.
Something in your relationship, or in your attitude about relationships, led to you cheating, You need to understand what, so you can get back on the path to repairing your relationship.
What was it about the person you cheated with that appealed to you? Did they seem exciting? Did they pay a lot of attention to you? Say things to you that you needed to hear? What drew you to this person is a sign of what's missing in your current relationship.
You had an affair because you were looking for something that's missing, either in you or in the relationship, or both.
Restoring trust in relationships means you have to fix the underlying problems. Couples counselling can help in some situations.
But just identifying the problem isn't enough. You have to take definite actions to fix those problems.
The key to restoring trust in relationships isn't talking about the right things...it's doing the right things.
Small promises that you keep will go a long way to rebuilding trust. Your partner needs to regain confidence in you. Little things like taking out the trash every night, or being on time will help them learn to see you as trustworthy again...far more than grand gestures will.
Understand and be patient with your partner's constant need for reassurance. You will have to apologize more than once, and deal with their anger and hurt. Let them express their feelings and don't argue about them. Before they can forgive you, they need to get it all out...and you need to be willing to accept all of it, even if it hurts.
At the same time, don't take abuse. If your partner really won't let up or is guilt-tripping you, talk to them about it with compassion and without losing your temper. They are fragile and might not be thinking clearly. They need to know that you understand where they're coming from, so be understanding.
Lastly, you need to find the good in all of this. In my situation, my husband and I both saw that the affair had shone a bright light on issues we both had regarding relationships, and it gave us an opportunity to address them together...and patch them up for good.
Getting over an affair takes time, but it can happen. If you 're honest with yourself and your partner and take honest actions to set things right, you'll come out of it a stronger, happier couple.
Confession time -- I cheated on my husband. But eventually he forgave me, and we've been a stronger couple ever since.
Something in your relationship, or in your attitude about relationships, led to you cheating, You need to understand what, so you can get back on the path to repairing your relationship.
What was it about the person you cheated with that appealed to you? Did they seem exciting? Did they pay a lot of attention to you? Say things to you that you needed to hear? What drew you to this person is a sign of what's missing in your current relationship.
You had an affair because you were looking for something that's missing, either in you or in the relationship, or both.
Restoring trust in relationships means you have to fix the underlying problems. Couples counselling can help in some situations.
But just identifying the problem isn't enough. You have to take definite actions to fix those problems.
The key to restoring trust in relationships isn't talking about the right things...it's doing the right things.
Small promises that you keep will go a long way to rebuilding trust. Your partner needs to regain confidence in you. Little things like taking out the trash every night, or being on time will help them learn to see you as trustworthy again...far more than grand gestures will.
Understand and be patient with your partner's constant need for reassurance. You will have to apologize more than once, and deal with their anger and hurt. Let them express their feelings and don't argue about them. Before they can forgive you, they need to get it all out...and you need to be willing to accept all of it, even if it hurts.
At the same time, don't take abuse. If your partner really won't let up or is guilt-tripping you, talk to them about it with compassion and without losing your temper. They are fragile and might not be thinking clearly. They need to know that you understand where they're coming from, so be understanding.
Lastly, you need to find the good in all of this. In my situation, my husband and I both saw that the affair had shone a bright light on issues we both had regarding relationships, and it gave us an opportunity to address them together...and patch them up for good.
Getting over an affair takes time, but it can happen. If you 're honest with yourself and your partner and take honest actions to set things right, you'll come out of it a stronger, happier couple.
About the Author:
For more tips and actions you can take to build trust after infidelity and repair your relationship, visit www.SecondChanceAtLove.info
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