Wednesday, 29 July 2009

How to Really Know When to End a Relationship

By Paul Lindquist

If you are attempting to determine when to end a relationship, this may be one of the toughest determinations you will have to make. Your judgment is clouded by your emotional investment in the relationship. As tough as it is to want to figure this out, sometimes knowing when to end a relationship can be the best thing for everyone.

When figuring out when to end a relationship, many people go to one extreme or another. Some give up too soon before really trying to resolve things, while others keep hanging on to a relationship, even though it is clearly toxic and it's long past the time to let it go.

The group that remains in the relationship too long can sometimes be passed off as people that just can't figure out when to end a relationship. Normally, there is more going on underneath the surface. Alot of times, these people fear loneliness or the unknown factors that will result from a breakup.

Clearly, there are times when it's more than appropriate to put a quick end to the relationship. One example would be somewhat caught in a relationship where their partner either physically or verbally abuses them. If that is the case, it needs to end as soon as possible.

Other circumstances can be less clear. If you have a partner that is cheating on you, for example, this may not always mean the end. While for some, this violation of trust is too much to take, others are willing to work through it and are sometimes rewarded with stronger relationships as a result of their persistence.

If your partner has cheated on you, figuring out when to end a relationship might not be easy. An open, heart to heart talk is needed, where you lay out every issue on the table-meaning the breach of trust and the likelihood that it will continue.

Perhaps the situation is reversed. Maybe the one who has cheated is you. Should this mean the end of things because you have feelings for someone else? Maybe not. You need to look objectively at the frequency of your thoughts toward the other person, and how much emotion you have invested in your current relationship. Also, if children are involved in your present relationship, do everything you can to stay together.

If you still love your partner and you think you have exhausted all options to make things work, look at things again. Perhaps you can still find a way to get things to work. Often times, figuring out when to end a relationship is difficult, but if you have looked objectively at all angles and still can't make it work, then the time may have come to let go.

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