When you've recently had a break up with your ex, your system is under a great deal of emotional stress. Nature has structured the brain so that extreme stress makes us act first then think afterwards. Sadly, this won't work very well if we're trying to win back our ex. When feeling stressed, bear these four tips in mind after a breakup:
1.) Try not to let your impulses and emotions push you onward when you deal with your ex. Ideally you want some kind of a reasoned plan to work with. At the very least, let yourself chill out and cautiously approach things a single step at a time.
2.) Stay clear of arguments about getting together again. Doing this sets you back in more ways than one. The two of you need to cool off some and constant fighting just fuels the fire.
Likewise, arguing against breaking apart will shift you into pleading mode or anger mode. Being angry with him or her won't make the person back down, it's going to make getting your ex back more difficult. Pleading is going to cause him or her to question why you're being so desperate and needy.
3.) A breakup can leave you feeling really down. Never allow your appearance and behavior reflect this. Your ex's estimation of your worth and attractiveness will plummet if he or she sees you in an unkept or slovenly state. You are judged on your appearance and the way that you present yourself. A down and out appearance will at best get you some pity.
4.) There's a fine line between determined effort and being a stalker. If your pursuit goes beyond what's considered to be normal behavior, you my friend, are a stalker. This will only scare off your ex and possibly get you arrested.
Remember that half the battle is avoiding all of the mistakes that reduce your chances at getting your ex back. You can do this by not permitting yourself to be overcome by panic, anger or any of the other intense emotions that will usually happen during a break up. Avoid thoughts and circumstances that can arouse these destructive emotions and start working your plan to win your ex back.
1.) Try not to let your impulses and emotions push you onward when you deal with your ex. Ideally you want some kind of a reasoned plan to work with. At the very least, let yourself chill out and cautiously approach things a single step at a time.
2.) Stay clear of arguments about getting together again. Doing this sets you back in more ways than one. The two of you need to cool off some and constant fighting just fuels the fire.
Likewise, arguing against breaking apart will shift you into pleading mode or anger mode. Being angry with him or her won't make the person back down, it's going to make getting your ex back more difficult. Pleading is going to cause him or her to question why you're being so desperate and needy.
3.) A breakup can leave you feeling really down. Never allow your appearance and behavior reflect this. Your ex's estimation of your worth and attractiveness will plummet if he or she sees you in an unkept or slovenly state. You are judged on your appearance and the way that you present yourself. A down and out appearance will at best get you some pity.
4.) There's a fine line between determined effort and being a stalker. If your pursuit goes beyond what's considered to be normal behavior, you my friend, are a stalker. This will only scare off your ex and possibly get you arrested.
Remember that half the battle is avoiding all of the mistakes that reduce your chances at getting your ex back. You can do this by not permitting yourself to be overcome by panic, anger or any of the other intense emotions that will usually happen during a break up. Avoid thoughts and circumstances that can arouse these destructive emotions and start working your plan to win your ex back.
About the Author:
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