Tuesday, 17 November 2009

Learning How To Save A Marriage

By Sebastian Thomas

Any relationship can be tough. No matter what the relationship is - marriage, dating, or even an employer / employee relationship - there will be good times, and there will be some pretty bad times. However, the trick is to understand early when the problems begin, and then aggressively work to ward off future issues. Here are some simple ways how to save a marriage!

No matter what type of relationship you're in, it took both of you to get to where you are. One of the biggest problems facing any marriage is when one person does something almost unforgivable, the other party literally turns into a different person - accusing, withdrawn, vindictive, and even worse.

Communication is the key to any relationship. Marriage, employment, and even training a pet. Listening is an art and this must be honed in order to communicate effectively. Talking is only a small part of communicating; listening is the other, more difficult, and often neglected part. When your spouse believes you don't listen, you are proving that you just don't care. Listen!

Every relationship needs a basis in trust. Throw in respect, and you should have years of success in front of you. Common interests can only get you so far. Marrying your best friend only works for a while. Love and devotion are the beginnings of a great marriage, and the best way to keep a marriage happy to is keep the love alive and the devotion forthcoming.

Marriage counselors can offer some hope, but you need to believe in the course of action offered, you need to want to do it, and you need to want to work on your marriage. Your counselor will ask you if you do indeed want your marriage to succeed, and if you don't, you might as well leave and head to divorce court. That's the key - nothing will improve in your marriage without some dedication and hard work.

If you want to work on your marriage, there are some easy ways to start. It didn't fall apart overnight, and it won't get better overnight. Simple things like helping around the house, going to a baseball game if you hate sports just to please your husband, bringing home wine or flowers just for the heck of it, or even getting a babysitter just so you two can have some alone time, even it's a rented movie and a pizza. These things will make a difference if you haven't done them before.

And of course, stop the fighting, the accusations, the yelling and start listening.

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