Thursday, 20 August 2009

How to Fix a Relationship: 4 Questions You Must Ask

By Paul Lindquist

How to fix a relationship when it is clearly broken is very hard and will involve asking tough questions. The challenge is that coming up with the best questions to ask to repair a relationship might be hard even when you are thinking clearly.

Assuming you truly have a strong desire to learn how to fix a relationship, it is still human nature to avoid asking hard questions. The preferred path is just pretending that there aren't any problems in our relationship and going on with life.

Deciding to avoid confronting the problems with your relationship will not cause them to go away. The first thing you need to know about how to fix a relationship is that it takes work! I'll be bold here-if you fail to confront a serious problem in your relationship after you have learned about it, you are not acting responsibly.

So, here are the 4 questions you need to ask if you want to know how to fix a relationship:

1. What do you desire from the relationship?

It is critical that you and your partner ask this question sometime in the initial stages of the relationship. It is critical because if you don't know what your partner expects from the relationship, how do you know if you will be compatible together?

2. At what point in our relationship did we have our best moments together?

This second question on how to fix a relationship should be asked to see how each of you views the relationship. If you pinpoint different times during the relationship as your best times, then this could be a good indicator of when things got off track.

3. What parts of the relationship can you point to that you are currently not satisfied with?

This third question on how to fix a relationship should be answered gently. What I mean is, avoid blaming each other for the things that are wrong and try to keep from letting your emotions run too high. You simply need to know where each of you stands, and knowing what you are dissatisfied with is crucial in determining this.

4. In what direction do you see the relationship moving?

The final question toward knowing how to fix a relationship is to learn what direction each party thinks the relationship is going. The answer to this question will be helpful in knowing what shape the relationship is really in. If you both believe the relationship is headed in the wrong direction and is in danger of failure, then knowing this is necessary in order to fix what's broken.

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