Tuesday, 22 December 2009

Marriage Can Be Stressful

By Andrew John

When we are getting married we never even think that the tension between us and our spouse may someday rise to the level which may destroy our feelings. Still, the sad fact is that in every marriage stress can occur in almost every moment and when we are not ready for it, it may cause separation or even a divorce. This is why we should know a few important truths about stress in a marriage. We have to have a chance to avoid some of traps or at least to know what to do when the tension between us is definitely too high and we start to hate our spouse instead of loving.

Among many possible sources of stress in a marriage lay these related with problems with communication. Of course, so called "quiet days" or quarrels can be very stressful to us, but we cannot forget that even one word too much said at an inappropriate moment can be a trigger of stress. The most dangerous situation occurs when we don't realize that our words can hurt our spouse. This is why we should always be careful what and when we are saying, even when it is only a joke or poking fun.

In almost every marriage comes the time when we feel that our spouse is not as attractive as he or she was before. Such situation doesn't have to be connected with time, it is caused by a routine rather than the time itself. When it happens, we often recall times when we fell in love and of course search for someone whom we can accuse for such situation. Still, instead of doing so we should rather break the routine and try to put the spark back into our marriage. Searching for someone to put the blame on him is the easiest way to increase the level of stress in our relationships.

When we want to live in happy family we must trust each other. It is not only the matter of adultery or financial matters. Lack of trust causes that we feel alone and can't count on each other so the stress can strike us much easier. When we worry where is our spouse or with whom he or she spends the evening, we are more and more stressed and the possibility that we will start to accuse our partner or quarrel with him is getting higher. This is why we must not only love each other, but also learn to trust our spouses. It is not an easy lesson, but very important one.

Stress can strike in our marriage at any time. It may appear when there is too much routine in your relationships, when you or your spouse suspects adultery, when a child appears in your family or when you have problems at work. In fact marriage is one of the most stressful things we can meet as long as we can't listen to our spouses and cooperate with them. We can get rid of a stress in a marriage only when we do it together, in other case the tension between us will only rise and end in a divorce.

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